I occasionally find myself going through these phases where I realize that I'm not happy with what I'm doing with my life, and that I should just do what makes me happy. I'm going through one of those phases right now. I'm getting to the end of college, and I'm racing through my mind with what I should do with my direction in life. I'll have a BA in English, and I figure as long as I have my degree, I can get a decent paying job that's not in retail hell. I'm not sure if I want to go to grad school; if I was really wanting to go to grad school, I would have had to apply myself to it a long time ago.

So I'm thinking of seriously giving art school a try. I know that it isn't the career path my parents want for me, but let me explain myself. Journalism has jaded me. It just has. Writing is good and all, and people want the facts and the truth, but once you learn the truth, it's hard to enjoy life. When you have to write for other people about certain things, you don't really get much of a chance to express yourself...unless you happen to be a columnist or a commentary-writer. It sucks. It really does.

Lately, I've been questioning why the hell I got on this career path. What I wanted to do was be a comic book artist or work in film. I thought I could be an animator because that way, I could combine my two loves. And my guidance counselor got the stupid idea in her head that I shouldn't do that with my life, convinced me I'd make a good journalist, and automatically signed me up to be on the high school newspaper.

So I wonder...has my life been a total sham since high school? If I were honestly working in the art/film fields, would I be happier and more fulfilled that I feel now? I have no clue.