Tuesday, January 02, 2007

So New Year's Eve was pretty uneventful. I didn't even go out anywhere. I didn't even have anyone to kiss at midnight. You know, last year (2005), I went to the Crossroads, watched Dead At the Box Office, played Rocky Horror trivia and got nearly naked and drunk in the process. Best frickin' New Year's Eve ever. (Sammi and I were so drunk! *ha ha!*) This year, I just stayed at home, played around on the computer a bit and did a little drawing. So now that I've 'fessed up to this, everyone can point their fingers at me and laugh for being so geeky and pathetic. I should've made plans in advance. *ugh*

Yesterday was no better at work. I was sober, and cranky at the fact that I was sober on New Year's Day. Everyone that came in to rent movies was cranky that the store was wiped out from the previous day, and they were taking their anger out on me. I am convinced that if I stay there longer, I'll end up snapping and taking out a couple dozen customers in the process.

I don't even really have anything to write about. How sad is that? I'm rambling on for my own sake.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Well, today's the last day of the year. To ring in the new year, I colored my hair again last night. It's a reddish color, but it'll wash out after 28 shampoos. Mom hates it. Oh well. I don't really care what she thinks. It's not her hair.
I don't really have any plans for celebrating tonight. Tim said he might throw a small get-together, but I haven't heard from him about it yet. If not, it's going to be another "wonderful" damn New Years' Eve on my own. (Well, that's not true. Last year, I was at the Crossroads, getting drunk with Sammi and Megan and a few other while playing "Rocky Horror" trivia.) At least I have a 12-pack of MGD to get me through the night.
I do hope Sammi's feeling a little better. She had to have surgery for cervical cancer. That's what my cousin Stephanie had. (Stephanie is still alive, by the way, if I made it sound like she died from it. She had to have the surgery as well.) I have so many New Year's resolutions that I had to make a list of them.
--MOVE OUT
--Give up fast food
--Dump 30 lbs. and get in shape
--Buy a new computer
--Learn HTML
--Learn another language
--Take dance lessons (tap or ballroom)
--Do some travelling
--Give art school a shot
--Get that comic book done and get it published
--Finish college
--Quit Blockbuster and get a new job
--BOYFRIEND! (Because it's about time for me to get back on that horse, don't you think?)
In case I don't talk to anyone who reads this, I wish you all a safe and Happy New Year. God bless you in the New Year.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

I occasionally find myself going through these phases where I realize that I'm not happy with what I'm doing with my life, and that I should just do what makes me happy. I'm going through one of those phases right now. I'm getting to the end of college, and I'm racing through my mind with what I should do with my direction in life. I'll have a BA in English, and I figure as long as I have my degree, I can get a decent paying job that's not in retail hell. I'm not sure if I want to go to grad school; if I was really wanting to go to grad school, I would have had to apply myself to it a long time ago.

So I'm thinking of seriously giving art school a try. I know that it isn't the career path my parents want for me, but let me explain myself. Journalism has jaded me. It just has. Writing is good and all, and people want the facts and the truth, but once you learn the truth, it's hard to enjoy life. When you have to write for other people about certain things, you don't really get much of a chance to express yourself...unless you happen to be a columnist or a commentary-writer. It sucks. It really does.

Lately, I've been questioning why the hell I got on this career path. What I wanted to do was be a comic book artist or work in film. I thought I could be an animator because that way, I could combine my two loves. And my guidance counselor got the stupid idea in her head that I shouldn't do that with my life, convinced me I'd make a good journalist, and automatically signed me up to be on the high school newspaper.

So I wonder...has my life been a total sham since high school? If I were honestly working in the art/film fields, would I be happier and more fulfilled that I feel now? I have no clue.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Where have I been, and what have I been up to? To be honest, it doesn't seem like it's been much, but when you look back on the last few years, it's been a lot.
I think the last time I updated was about two years ago during the whole New York fallout. I kept up with doing the Rocky Horror thing with the Pink Invaders off and on (I took some time off in January...I lied and said I was going back to school when I just wanted time off) until Shawn finally decided to give up the good fight in October. But I really did start going back to school in September. I just came to a crossroads of my own, realized that I really didn't want to be working at Blockbuster for the rest of my life, and the only way I was ever going to get a good job was to go back to school and finish out my degree. I just finished with the fall semester...just barely, but at least I'm finishing up. I have next semester, and then just a few more classes after that and I should be done for good. I went back to doing Rocky maybe back in April and continued throughout the summer until Christina quit cast. And you know...I got tired of it. Christina's my friend, and believe me I'm not bad-mouthing her or anything, but she was the only other Janet in cast. Fez's girlfriend was flaking out on performing, she quit, and I didn't want to go back to being the only Janet again and having to perform every weekend again (especially since I was going back to school for real). So I quit. Didn't give them any warning or anything. And yeah, that was shitty of me, but I had it.
Which led to the REAL fallout, with Zero. One of the main reasons I quit (besides the "I don't want to be the only Janet performing anymore" reason) was the fact that Zero got back together with the same ex-girlfriend he gave me the shaft for after New York!!! Not only that, but she fucking joined cast. And I just had it with the shitty treatment I got from him, leading me on the way he did, not really following through on being a good friend, and then to combine it with having his girlfriend around and them making out and feeling each other up everytime I was within view...yeah. He knew I wasn't happy with him when he did this two years ago, so why the hell did he think I'd be okay with it this time? So I just started freezing him out and blowing him off. I quit talking to him. I was just not happy with him at all. And he's all, "Why won't you talk to me?! I won't know what's wrong if you won't tell me what's wrong!" And then he went on his MySpace and posted this really mean blog about how he was losing his friends. He said he lost TR to booze and women, he said he lost Fester to "just being Fester" (which was stupid--if Zero had actually tried to understand what Fester's been dealing with in the last year, he wouldn't have said that), and then he said he lost me to "work...and anger." And didn't understand why I was angry with him. I shouldn't have to spell it out--he knew what he did. We got into a big spat about it, and then he tried making me feel guilty about everything and making me look like the bad one in all of this...and I had it with him right then and there. Real friends do not do shit like this. Real friends do not pin the blame on their friends. Two weeks before the last show, I tried to make amends with him and tried to be the bigger one, and he was all, "Hey, you know what? I'm not saying a fucking word to you because you're a psycho bitch and you just quit talking to me for no reason at all."
Fucking asshole.
But you know...so what? I accomplished what I wanted. He's not my friend anymore. He quit being my friend a long time ago. I have no room for selfish people in my life who are just going to use me and make me feel bad about myself.
Fester feels the same way about it, too, and even told me he was proud that I refused to let Zero make me feel guilty about it. He was way out of line with the way he handled it. I explained to Fester that the only reason he's been like this is because he's trying to make good with his stupid girlfriend and we're the ones who have to suffer for it. He must really love this bitch (with whom he's broken up with and got back together with not once, not twice, but quite a few times) if he's willing to self-destruct his own relationships with his friends. Karma will bite him in the ass one day, I'm sure of it.
Work has sucked the big one. Around the beginning of this year, my boss' husband was put in the hospital with some tumors near the base of his brain, and she took a personal leave. And you know, it's not like I'm being an unsympathetic bitch about it, but I think she was looking for an excuse to quit. Crystal was going to beauty school, Jessica was going to her classes, and Brooke has her kid to watch, so who was stuck pretty much running the store while Sheri was on her personal leave? ME, that's who. And I really hated how Dave and Patti handled it. For a good two months, Dave would just fax the same schedule over with no changes to it, and everyone would bitch at me when the dates they needed off weren't included. Dave was also scheduling me at 39 hours a week, just barely skirting me under 40 hours for full-time or else he'd have to pay me overtime, which he's too cheap to do. I had to do payroll, I had to set up store inventory, I had to interview and hire new workers...and I am technically NOT the store manager! Finally...after about six months of this shit, Dave and Patti had a talk with me...pretty much told me they were proud of me keeping the store afloat (why don't you just give me a frickin' raise instead of a pat on the back?), and said that they'd try to get me some help in running the store. We had Angela coming from the Portage store once or twice a week to take some of the burden off of me, but she didn't last long, maybe a month before she opted not to renew her managerial contract. (I think Angela got annoyed when I flat-out told her I was not interested in a management position and didn't want to be at Blockbuster forever). Then Patti opted to come help us out from July on, and now Patti is technically our store manager. Sheri's officially not coming back (surprise, surprise). However, last month, Patti had to help out at the Hobart store after their manager had to take a personal leave of her own (for about a month, anyway), and they brought Scott in to help us out. None of us care for him all that much. I can't see what he's done for the store, except straighten out the keyboard problem on the second register and clean the grout on random spots of the floor. (Whoopie-doo.) Yesterday, Patti was telling us that Dave told her, "Don't get too comfy at St. John," and Abby and I flat-out told her, "If Dave relocates you to another store and we have to deal with Scott full-time, we'll quit." So she has been warned. If Dave doesn't watch it, there will be another staff walkout, just like with the Munster store.
Mom hasn't been doing much better. As a matter of fact, she's getting worse. Her short-term memory's getting bad, it's difficult for her to get around, and like I said before...I'm really trying not to be an unsympathetic bitch about it...but how does she expect me to do anything with my life and do things for myself when she makes me do everything for her? This morning, she pulls me out of bed to pay the DirecTV payment online because she's "scared to death to try anything on the computer." She couldn't get Hunter to do this for her last night? And the thing is, how does she expect anything to get done if I'm not around 24/7 to do it for her? What the hell will she do whenever I move out? Sometimes I feel she doesn't appreciate me all that much.
In superficial news...since I get paid considerable more at Blockbuster than I did at Spencer's...about a year and a half ago, I broke down and bought myself a spankin' new car. It's a yellow 2005 Ford Focus. I love it. That thing's my baby. I put so much money into paying that thing off, man. It'll be about five more years, but she's as good as mine anyway.
There's a crapload more for me to post about. I've been on LiveJournal, mainly. It's easy to post on there, and it's way customizable. I got a MySpace account, too, but I don't care for MySpace all that much. Too many creepy people on MySpace, too many losers on MySpace. I only got a MySpace because "everyone has one." *rolls eyes*

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Heh...Tucker Carlson from "Crossfire" on CNN and Jon Stewart got in a bit of a argument over the weekend. I guess Jon came out and accused him of being biased in his reporting of the election coverage, and Tucker said that he had no right to talk about journalism because Stewart is primarily a comedian.

This coming from the guy who honestly thought he could get a legit interview out of Britney Spears. Tie that bowtie a little tighter, Tucker. ("Tucker" rhymes with "fucker"!)

Tonight is a pay-per-view night at BW3s, Taboo Tuesday. So being that it's a pay per view, I've gotta make myself gorgeous. Trying to figure out what to wear, go clean myself up, etc. I've been thinking about a haircut, more like a trim. (Two inches, just to get rid of split ends and to even out the bottom a bit...starting to look a little straggly.)

Also trying to figure what I'm wearing to Fright Fest on Sunday. I'm probably going to stick with jeans and sneakers. (It's Six Flags, after all.) Maybe my Jackass hoodie, if I can't find anything better.

~~fin~~


Sunday, October 17, 2004

Well, look who's speaking to me again. Hmm.

Karly said that Ed said something along the lines that he "really needs to patch things up with Holly." It's going to take him a hell of a lot more than hanging out and going to see Team America to patch things up with me, that's all I have to say.

So continues the long bumpy road of friendship.

~~fin~~

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Very tired. I had to be up this morning by 6 and be at work by 7 to do inventory, since I decided to fill in for Crystal.

The computer is screwing up again. Couldn't log into Yahoo to check my email. Couldn't log into LJ to snoop around.

Yep, it's gonna be one of those days.
~~fin~~