Oh, I just loooooove it when my mom asks me what I've got going on, and I respond, and she repeats it in a slow-toned voice as if she's upset that I'm going to be going out:

My mom (sitting in the La-Z-Boy): So...what are your plans for tomorrow?
Me (on computer, trying to update my Blog): I have work from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. tomorrow.
My mom: Ah. Tennnnn-aye-em to siiiiiiiix pee-em. Workin'.
Me: Yeah. (Thinking: "Yeah, I get off my ass and go somewhere to earn money. It's not much, but it's an effort. SOME people go to work everyday.")

I never know if she is trying to weasel me into doing the daily activities with her, or if she's just feeling lonely because it's either me or the dog she has to spend all day with.

~~fin~~

Columbia
You've worn all black since you were nine and knew,
even as a nine year old living in nowheresville
that you were a New Yorker at heart. Well, you
wont make it in the big city. I'm sorry tike.
Still, have fun while it lasts, because the
rumor is, most Columbia students don't.


Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yep. Columbia. GOD, I would have loved to have gone there. But alas...I am an Indiana University Northwest alumnus. At least till I get to grad school. (I'm thinking of maybe Northwestern University, or even the Art Institute if I decide to go for an art career.)

~~fin~~

It's just another day in the neighborhood. Whilst I was watching some TV last night (namely SmackDown), I came up with an idea for a story I could write. Yeah, I was kind of thinking of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when I came up with it, but it's going to be okay. I haven't written anything in a while; I need something to get me back into the swing of things.

This week's paycheck was a decent one.

I am still on the job hunt. The job market is entirely crappy right now.

Okay, edited version of what I posted earlier. The only reason I did this is because someday this weblog will be linked to my super-duper website which is still in the conceptualizing phases right now, and certain people will see it, and I want to edit it while I can now. I want to know where along the line that guys just decided to get more in touch with their "inner emotions" and where along the line that females started getting tougher and not willing to put up with soft bullshit anymore. Explain this to me. It's like the genders switched clichés or something. And that's all I'm going to say about the situation. And what IS there about me that is so "special" that a certain male friend of mine just can't let go of me for and just needs to stay friends with me, but it's as if we never stopped seeing each other as boyfriend/girlfriend? (In other words...Dan, you are confusing the living hell out of me, and it's going to hurt me, you AND your girlfriend in the process, whether you want to admit it or not.)


You are a Rubber Band.


What Fruity Object Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

~~fin~~

You are Morpheus, from "The Matrix." You
have strong faith in yourself and those around
you. A true leader, you are relentless in your
persuit.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I don't get it. Dan is, I feel, still leading me on. I went out with him to dinner a few nights ago. He says he wanted to treat me for that award I won for all the work I did for the paper and for getting the editor-in-chief position, but it felt like any regular date he and I had been on in the past. Mom asked if he's still seeing that girl he says he's been seeing and I said, "Yeah, he is." And Mom goes, "Why is he taking you out when he's got a girlfriend?" *scoff* That's what I'd like to know.

You know, it's going to come down to him having to choose between girlfriend and me. Or I can see it happening. Whomever he's seeing will tell him, "This Holly friend of yours doesn't seem like a very good friend to you if she can't do stuff with you all the time. But don't worry--I can be a MUCH better girlfriend than SHE ever was."

I feel so uncapable of having a decent...life. I can't have friends. I can't have a boyfriend. How the hell am I supposed to feel? Devoid of any feelings? Shut up and not allowed to express what I think and how I feel. I feel like my passion for life has been sucked out of me by my parents and the media. I feel jaded and...and I don't know what the fuck to feel anymore. How am I supposed to have a good outlook on life when nothing has been going remotely well for me since last fall semester? It's been a struggle going through school, my job/income situation has not improved one bit, I am a shitty-ass girlfriend, I lack social skills because I never get to socialize (unless it's online, and we all know what a stupid sham THAT is).

Times like this that make me think that there may not be a God after all. Either that, or we Mom's theory is right and we are all living in hell as we know it. The minute we are all born, we are all made to suffer. And you know, if God truly existed, you'd think He'd give me a break. Help make my mother better so I can move out and do something more with my life other than waste away under my parents' roof. Help my father find a job so he's not such a grouchy dickhead whenever he's home. And please...if you-know-who IS interested (after all of that teasing flirting on the weekends), just give me some sort of sign.

There. I prayed for the first time in a loooooooooooooong time.

~~fin~~

Woah! I haven't updated my blog in a looooong time.

Honestly, there is a lot on my mind, but I am a little rattled to unload it all here in one lump. I'd probably fry myself out.

I'll get to it later. I just wanted to check in here to show that I am still alive.

~~fin~~